New Beginnings have a charm of its own...feel great and completely fulfilled

Introduction

When you start something new things can be exciting, but you can also have some temporary challenges that you are very well prepared and excited to deal with.

New Beginnings have a charm of its own, we put ourselves completely into it. We feel great and completely fulfilled.

But sometimes routine can be perceived to be something bad (I love routine though), we can feel left out or uncared for. 

Our closed ones can be there but we  can feel we need to be understood more or something like that. I think in moments like this we need to be there for ourselves.

We need to love ourselves and accept the way we are. All our good, bad and ugly sides,  we may not be perfect. But we can accept and love who we are completely and perfectly. 

What is Self-love? What it is not?

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I have had my own share of a testimony but I would rather keep it for some other time. Personally I realized that to build self confidence and belief in self also means a certain level of self care.

How could one love oneself If it was without accepting the self? Of course I knew my negatives. I mean how I failed living to the ideals I think are important in my own perception.

At some point dealing with the negatives within and outside myself became a tug of war. Over a period of time I realized that there was grace in a healthy self acceptance. 

Sometimes in the quest for becoming better we turn more saccharine. 

It not only hurts us but actually is less authentic (in my view). I am not saying you don't need to improve but one cannot change without first accepting the way things are.

I like the way the Brain and Behavior foundation describes it a blog, "Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth."

Our actions should support who we want to be rather than becoming an unhealthy critic of sorts.

How can it help you?

I think the first thing that comes to my mind is that it will help you move away from an unhealthy kind of perfectionism.

I think that this kind of Perfectionism is actually inauthentic and doesn't take into account the reality of things. It puts a lot of burden on the individual and may be others.

I do believe constantly trying to build self and improving ones life if accompanied with the reality that we all have areas we struggle with, seems more authentic to me.

You must check this article on the importance of Self Love by Medical News Today.

10 ways to get started with loving yourself

via GIPHY

This is Chris Educator's Amazing List of Loving yourself (LOL)

Believe me I practice most of these:

1. Remove the toxic people from your life

This is the first and most powerful hack I can give you. 

I am not encouraging you to be judgmental. But just that sometimes we don't gel fit well with people.

You don't need to be nasty about it, Just start by being assertive and valuing your time and space.

2. Keep time to Destress yourself

I don't know what your belief system is. But we all live one Life at a time.

We all want to give the best to people and things we love.

All that is only possible if we keep time to destress ourselves. Of course all Stress is not bad.

Just keep the bad ones away.

3. Fulfill your Dreams(Side Hustle)

We all have dreams but there are practicalities we need to deal with. We may even love what we do, but a lot of us have dreams we would love to fulfill.

Believe me it won't happen if you don't work on it. You can start it as a side hustle.

Starting a Side Hustle is also a form of Self Love. You actually start working on what you have been relegating to a just a dream.

You Side Hustle may work or not, but it will teach you a lot.

4. Document your thoughts

Your thought life is also you. You need to note your insights and dreams.

Feel free to note all the things you are sad about or even thankful for.

Review your journal and don't just write and forget. If you think you would want to share it with others, you can start blogging or micro blogging about it.

5. Practice Awareness

Life is much more than you are aware of. Intentionally Practice Awareness in your daily life.

I have blogged about it, you can check some of my blogs on this.

6. Read your Gratitude list

Firstly maintain a Gratitude list. You can journal about the things you are grateful for and read them regularly.

7. Accept yourself

Of course you know you are not Mr./Ms. Perfect. So accept the parts of you that are not so good. 

8. Find your tribe

You can't gel with everyone. Follow the first tip and fire the toxic people if possible, next hangout with people who share the things you find amazing.

9. Practice Forgiveness

Besides forgiving yourself, I am sure there are many people who have wronged you. It may be easy for me to write it but it can be difficult for you to forgive some people. But It can be very caring to yourself to forgive the people who have hurt you.

10. Manage your Time

This one is last on the list but is extremely important. Practicing Time management is extremely valuable and important skill.

Managing your time is extremely caring thing to do. You don't need to spend yourself saving the world around you. Even Superman needs some time off.

Conclusion

6 more tips to complete this Challenge

I would like to conclude these thoughts with a Challenge. You see challenges every day, I am not going to ask you to dance or forward this article ( Though I wish you would), But I want to Challenge you to do something new each week.

A new act or habit that encourages a healthy for form of Self Care. You can  start by taking 1 idea from the 10 I shared and start.

You don't need to follow my list, you just need to begin. I hope this article finds in the best of health.

Thank you for your time and see you in this next post.

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What's been happening lately.....?

Now, I create courses around Management and Marketing for Universities (besides Blogging & Coaching).

It's been great getting back to the 9to5 grind. I know and have read a lot of articles speaking negatively about it. I don't share the same ideas. 

I think depends on many factors like life and career goals, personal ambitions, etc.

I am writing to share some lessons I have learned from this process.

Lesson #1 Get used to the Grind

Initially, any change seems difficult to manage. 

Imagine starting out a new project, Things may not work as seemed or expected. 

I think this is quite a normal experience, but I also think exaggerating the pain and change is something negative. We must learn from the experience, cry sometimes, or console ourselves when things get worse.

I believe having a vision can help us focus better and deal with difficult situations or even change.

Lesson #2 Never give up on trying

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I believe there are appropriate situations when you have to dump a project, but most of the time we must not make excuses. 

Moving on and giving our best every time is the way to go.

If you don't know something, learn it, if you need help, network and get it. 

I believe the best choice is to give your best.

Lesson #3 Value the platform

Check my latest Newsletter!

As an experienced Freelancer, I really value the 9to5 grind. I see it as an opportunity to give my best and upgrade myself with new experiences and interactions.

A lot of times when things go unexpectedly bad, we look at the negative side of things. 

We must also practice timely exercises on Gratitude.

In Conclusion

I would like to thank you for the support you guys have been giving me.

Please share your experiences and do subscribe to my Newsletter.

Thank you for your time, Ciao!

If you are feeling overly anxious, I can understand how it feels

Deep Pain and an empty feeling

Imagine waking up one day and feeling low for no reason. Walking to the bus stop and your mind brings to you all the worries of the world. You know it is all exaggerated but you just can't help it.

Your church buddies don't get it, they think you are turning into some kind of Job and God is testing you. You are not able to concentrate on your job. You just feel horrible.

This is how I felt years ago, I was lecturing and in the middle of the lecture I had to leave. I needed to take a break I just couldn't think. It felt like there was a black hole in the center of my chest. It felt really hopeless. I had to tell my Head of Department about it.

Getting the right kind of Support

Get the support from people who care

She was really kind and she connected me with a Doctor. It was a life changing experience. I was suffering from Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

It a treatable disorder, and I so grateful and thankful to my HOD. She was a savior.

It is amazing how sometimes in spite of our Education we fail to take care of ourselves. I wonder why is it so.

Do we think it is a taboo and people will shun us and laugh at us? Is neglecting yourself spiritually sound and sensible? Is it a lack of faith?

What I think about GAD and 2 Pointers

Use Rationality and sensible thinking for Self Care

To me it was like any other disease. We must be rational and sensible. Taking care of ourselves is important if we want to work on our goals and dreams.

Detours are a part of the journey and so are setbacks. We must deal with them and we don't need to do it alone.

I would to share here a lot of tips and strategies, But I will only share 2 Pointers here.

1. Speak to someone who cares

2. Seek medical help

There are people who care for you. But Everyone also has things they are dealing with and so if some fail to get what you are going through it is okay. 

The next point I would like to mention is Professional Help is important. Although you can get some really helpful ideas from various resources getting the right help is key to better health.

I would encourage to take self care seriously and especially mental health.

In Conclusion

Emotional Health and Self Care are important

Taking care of yourself is a journey and an important part of achieving your Goals. We must expect the unexpected at times.

Having a balanced lifestyle is important to you and the people you influence.

Professional Medical Help is important for proper self care. I hope I have been able to enrich you through this post.

Do like and share you ideas on this topic? You can join the discussion on my FB Page.

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Don't make your goals a burden; being kind to myself

After spending most of last year in Goa, We were back in my beloved Pune, coming back is awesome and feels good.

Yes, I have been focusing on my life (I have been away from this blog for a while), But I am already working on my goals.

I think it is important to keep things in perspective and work your ideas to reality.

Failing is sometimes more of a feedback rather than only an outcome.

The Thing that has converted me...

Goals can be flexible - @Kiss_toff

I think goals are powerful. But then how come we don't fulfil them.

I think life happens. I have learnt to see goals more as reminders and signpost to help one move towards their destination rather than an obligation.

Just having them around help us deal with uncertainty. We start working on ideas and we keep things in motion. 

The problem is when we get fixated on them (goals). We treat them like a prophecy that has to become real in the way we imagine it.

The idea that Goals can be flexible and can be used strategically to deal with uncertain circumstances is the idea I hold to.

It has been a kind of religious experience. Sometimes we are stuck because we need to change our ideas about things.

Bringing in Experiences to deal with Uncertainty

Check this Quote on Uncertainty

I learnt that multitasking was a bad idea while reading self help books and also from experience.

I think chunking activities down is far more effective. If I personally can't work on these activities I begin by planning for it.

Once I flesh out a proper strategy or recipe to work on, I start working on it.

Another thing I learnt was getting in people who are experienced in what you want to achieve. Like a coach or a teacher.

You don't need to work on your success by yourself. It does require spending a bit of time or money. But my experience has shown me it helps.

I mostly expect at least 70% of the promises to be delivered for it to be a successful venture.

After completing one chunk of activity I move on to the next.

Listening to yourself

Don't ignore your inner voice | Check this post on Introspection

Sometimes we slack a bit or may be consciously kill a resolution we have. May be we need to listen to ourselves a bit.

Are we feeling lazy or discouraged? Is the goal bringing in a lot of change? Is the change too much to deal with?

Just spending some 'Me-time' can surely help. With a new baby boy, My wife and me have been quite busy.

So I decided to not overburden myself and perform badly at work or blogging. I use my time to practice focusing and trying observe and learn from people around me.

I don't see this as a time wasted, Yes it is a detour but one that will help focus better on my goals by reflection or crafting some plan.

In conclusion

I must say that challenging ourselves is important. One way we can do that is by actually trying to work on our own aspirations and goals.

Life happens and we must enjoy it (by choosing too). Our choices and our perceptions are completely ours and so we must not waste it.

Either we learn something from it or we achieve it, Getting discouraged doesn't need to be the only option.

Choose better and wish you success. May you succeed in your goals. Thank you for stopping by. I hope you liked this post.

Ciao!

How to make this New Year Count?

 It is a new day, a new moment and a New Year. The Previous year has been filled with joys and lessons of its own.

Besides growing a year older, it brings a lot of hope and aspirations that are waiting to be fulfilled.

Resolutions and promises are waiting for their execution. I personally can get quite superstitious about the 1st of January.

But this year I am not going to buy into that obvious lie. For me, this is the year of Slaying BS. I am going to focus on cutting out things rather than only fulfilling my New Year's Resolution.

Some Areas of Focus

It is easy to think that Self Development is only about you. I think this is farther from the truth. It is also about community and people.

If you ever wondered why people join cults or keep bad company, besides feeling good they are looking to better themselves.

I think New Year's Resolution is a way of expressing it. Rather than dismissing the whole exercise, we must write some of the things we would like to achieve in the coming year.

Don't look at them as targets but choose to accept them as aspirations. They are no longer just targets you desire but desires that seek to be a reality.

Areas such as Health, Public Image, Finances, etc. are some places we can work on.

Enablers vs Empty Routines

I am sure you have heard me promote Journaling and Affirmations. I believe these are tools that enable us and remind us of what we need to focus on.

Focus is the main game,  there are a lot of people and things vying for attention. I think it is also important to bring in some enthusiasm, it makes the routine more fun and filled with a healthy passion.

Just doing activities may bring some amount of results, but sustainable results are something we all want.

Having the right kind of situation may not always be possible. Sometimes we need to take control and make things a possibility in the light of change and dynamic situations.

Developing a System that works for you

All Routines are not empty, I think only those that are not connected to some goal or personal joy are.

It is important to work on a system. Systems work together to achieve a focused task, Think of a clock. So many working parts and one goal,  telling you the Time.

We can break down our goals into tasks that work together as a system. Of course, using and modifying the system would be essential.

Think of them as updates on your Mobile phone, we plug the gaps and improve the working of your device. Similarly, we can modify the system we create to help ourselves.

Oh, it may not work, Yes that is a possibility. But think about it you are working on your goals and taking concrete steps towards fulfilling your aspirations or goals.

Using Patience

Being Patient is sometimes the only resort. We must build it up as a part of our usual routine.

It is also a reminder we don't need to get it right the first time. In some cases, we may also need to seek help from others in fulfilling certain goals.

Be Patient and give yourself a chance. Be that Boss you always wanted. The one that motivates you and understands you too.

Lastly, learn from others

Competing with yourself is all good. But what's wrong with raising your standards and learning from others.

You can broaden your (mental) horizon by looking at things from another person's point of view.

Competing with self has its limitation and why be limited.

Concluding Thoughts

I would like to conclude by wishing each one of you a very Happy New Year. May you truly have a fulfilling and joyous year.

Thank you for the constant support and time you take to read my thoughts. Do share it with others.

Remember it's your Year, your time and your response. See you in the next post. Ciao! 

Fate and Astrology: How to deal with bad Predictions?

Astrological Charts have not been kind to me. They have scary and depressing predictions about my life.

I must confess that they have also been kind at times. I am semi-sceptical about it, but it kind of rings in your head, 'What-if all this is true?'

One thing I know is beliefs can be so powerful. What we believe about reality and life influences the way we live and think.

Stories we tell ourselves are powerful; beliefs also have an influence over our lives.

I think affirmations and visualization exercises work around these principles. They are not magic, but habits that can be impactful and powerful if done right.

Working with Affirmations and Visualizations

Our Goals need to be Time-bound

I think Affirmations and Visualization are tools that work well with Self-motivation. Like anything, they need to practice well and understand properly.

Just because an Expert or Influencer says it works doesn't automatically guarantee it will work for you.

I personally look at them as tools to help me achieve goals. Goal Setting is very essential to achieve success and without them, I don't see how practising it is sensible.

Another essential element is Time. Goals need to be Time-bound.

Keeping Goals vague and without attaching time to them, could hardly be effective.

It could be you don't believe in yourselves or maybe your goals are big and audacious, If the latter is the problem I think it would essential to put some more belief in yourself. I would also add that you should also connect it with reality.

Working my Reality Vs. My Reality working me

Work to create our own Reality

One thing about history and especially Prehistory is that we have worked our way through various obstacles to get here.

We have been masters in creating the world we live in. So I believe we ought to work to create our own Reality.

Of course, we are not God to be in complete control of all variables. So we control what we can.

Let me try to list some of things we things we can control:

• Time we spend
• Things we do
• Our attention
• Our Investments
• Where we live
• Our Professions and our professional Goals
• Personal Goals
• Thoughts
• Hobbies

Etc. etc.

Fate, Faith and Fears

If Fate were to be true we would still need to do our thing

I am not dogmatic about Astrology or any other pseudoscience being True or False but I know even If Fate were to be true we would still need to do our thing.

We would not stop living, we would still keep our Faith in goodness and selves alive.

Fears are not something bad, it is our biology dealing with the perceived threats. But we have minds that can help us deal with our fears.

We can put it in perspective and not let Fate or our fears dominate us. Sometimes we need to have Faith in Life and be an overcomer.

I think faith can be an abused word, Faith is something we exercise every day when it comes to many things, not just Religion.

I don't think it is a baseless hope; we don't need to rationalize everything and know everything and it also doesn't mean you are going to make the right choices automatically.

Using Hope as a weapon

One thing to learn from movements and Freedom struggles is the power of Hope. Being hopeful is powerful and can drive our actions with passion and love.

Hope presumes a goal or an outcome. It has positive expectations coupled with it (I don't believe Negativity is not useful)

We must stop assuming Failures and Detours are bad. They teach us what not to do, Sometimes failing a certain number of times may be normal or expected.

Fantasy is entertaining but reality can be an eye-opener and encouraging. Being Hopeful is about focusing on what is positive and what can be built.

H.O.P.E. - Have Only Positive Expectations

In Conclusion

To summarize it we can say being Hopeful is about practising how we focus on things.

Do we have to allow things to control us or how we give importance to our actions? How can we be in control and manage our choices effectively?

I believe being Hope is a Strategy and should be used to our Benefit. Thank you for taking the time to follow our Blogs.

Do join the discussion on our Facebook page. See you in the next blog post.

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