Fear of failing and 3 Insightful Ideas to get through difficult times

Dark Night of the Soul: 3 Insightful Ideas to get through it

Life for most of us can be normal most of the time. There are phases of being elated and some painful episodes thrown in between.

These Painful periods can come all of a sudden or can pull us gradually into it. It can be induced as a kind of discipline by ascetically motivated (I imagine...Dan Brown-style...Self Flagellating, Lol)

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It's often called the Dark Night of the soul. A Period where everything seems confusing and topsy turvy. It can feel like your joys are just pulled away from you.

It's a pretty crappy phase. But it can teach one a lot. If this describes what's happening, Believe me, it would feel like no understands you and you are like the only person who has gone through it.

But it's not at all like that, It's happened to me once. It's a long story and I don't think this is the right medium to express those experiences. In my head (at least), I think it could easily fill a book.

What People say about it

The concept is derived from a 16th Century Mystic, St. John of the Cross. He was a Catholic Saint and he wrote about the experience in a poem.

Going through so many quotes it's amazing how the experience is common and at the same time transformative.

For me, it was like a Job (a Biblical character) like experience. The common thread is pain and transformation.

I wanted to quote some people here, But no. I will be sharing links to other articles. I think it would be like reinventing the wheel.

The idea is to inform you and help. I have been there and it can feel really lonely. Here are some interesting articles.

Article No. 1

The Dark Night of the Soul: Understanding Amidst the Absence of Meaning by Joshua Press.

In article, Joshua shares beautiful quotes on Dark Night of the Soul (DNTS). He shares interesting points and the transformative experience of it.

It's an article that can get you to understand the topic deeper and from a different perspective.

Article No. 2

18 Signs You’re Experiencing A Dark Night Of The Soul, Otherwise Known As an Existential Crisis by Brianna Wiest.

This article speaks on the way to identify if you are going through it. 

She covers a list of points that would help you identify DNTS in your life or situation.

Article No.3 (Not exactly an Article, But a Wiki)

Dark Night of the Soul by Wikipedia

This wiki covers various aspects of DNTS and it is quite informative.

There could be more resources but I think this would give us a good way to explore the topic a bit more. 

Why I think it's an Opportunity

Looking back, I think it was actually an opportunity. I realized the freedom I had in myself. 

I saw the Bullshit all around, all the things that were actually tying me down and pull me under its weight.

Maybe sometimes things are allowed to happen to us to free us (I am sure many people may not like what I am saying).

Sometimes rebooting and starting over may not be a bad thing. It could be for the good. 

We can use our insights and troubles to benefit.

Clichéd but we could actually Transform our Mess into a Message.

Some Pointers

3 R's

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So what is 3R? Its a song heard from my daughter. Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle. 

Yes, 😂 You heard it right. In real life, we must recycle the crap we face and transform it into something useful.

Just because something is garbage, it does not logically ( and Experientially) follow that discarding it (Experiences, Relations, or maybe our Painful experiences) is the only option.

Yes, It is easier said than done. But it is a Transformative Experience. Dying and came back to a 'New life' is a theme we see in nature and religion, It is not without wisdom.

So We must Reduce toxic thoughts/people, Reuse our time and thoughts to move beyond ourselves, and Recycle our crappy phases to our benefit.

Self Caring is not selfish. You can help others only when you are there.

Delay Decision Making

Don't rush making important decisions

When we are not in a proper zone Mentally I wonder how wise it is to make a decision.

Think about it, it is not. Rational and well thought of decisions can go bad ( Due unknown factors )

So imagine making Life-changing decisions when things are very different from normal.

I heard this advice from a Preacher John Mac Arthur ( I don't agree with all that he says, But Good advice is good)

When you are going through the Dark Night of the soul mode, it can really screw with your head.

See-through the Illusion

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Sometimes when things are difficult or we are trying to solve problems sticking to only one perspective can be binding and many can be confusing.

This power idea caught my attention. The idea that when we are in difficult moments we only tend to evaluate our past through dark lenses.

We paint everything bad and gloomy. Maybe we need to see things from another perspective.

May be like an illusion careful analysis and wisdom would be required to understand things. I believe our situations are no different.

Conclusion

DNTS can be difficult, but it should encourage you that many people have shared the same experience.

They have used situations like this to transform themselves. It's human and normal to have experiences like these. 

If you find it overburdensome, share your experiences with a friend or a professional counselor.

I hope this article was interesting and has helped you. Do share this article and give me your feedback about my thoughts/opinions and how you find my website.

Catch you in the next post. 

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