Use Assertiveness to stop bullies from hurting you...Learn 3 Simple Techniques

Don't let Bullies alienate you...Stand your ground*

Rumors and false propaganda about people can be quite a reputation killer. It can destroy peoples careers and lives. Most of us people seldom do such a thing. But there are people who are toxic enough to kill people with words. Recently, I had a personal experience where someone close was spreading false stories about me. Before I tell you how I responded to that bully I would like to discuss how to deal with these Gossipmongers or 'Word bullies'(Just a word I coined :)).

Bullying with Words

Word Bullying is so subtle it tickles a lot of people's ears and throws them off guard. People enjoy the stories and never think critically about the issue. Some even forget that the person they speak about is as human as them. Imperfect like all of us. These Gossipmongers put on a garb of self-righteousness and proclaim their morals and ideas on others without seeing that each person may have a different opinion or may think differently.

Consequences of  False stories

 It can have terrible consequences. Victims of such bad rumors can feel helpless and misunderstood. So the solution I think is standing up to these bullies. Choosing to be Assertive and taking a stand. And that is what I did with that bully. I confronted him and asked him to stop. It worked and this bully stopped bad mouthing me. This is my story of bullying harassment.

So let's look at some ways to deal with similar situations when it comes to being bad-mouthed or even being bullied:

3 Simple Ways to deal with Bullies

1) Believe in yourself: 

Many a time the intention of these bullies is to destroy you or make you look bad. I believe holding one's ground and believing in yourself is important. A healthy self-image and confidence can help you through these difficult times. We mustn't derive our self worth from other people's perspective of us. Understanding our plus and negatives is a starting point to a healthy self-image. The idea is not to give our power to others.

2) Keep healthy Boundaries:

A lot of times we feel like reaching out to people. But believe me, some people are toxic and its good to keep a distance and avoid some people. We don't need to have everybody as our friends. There are people who dislike us and its fine. So we must have some kind of boundary where its important for us and others to understand that should not be violated.

Mutual respect and understanding are foundational to any healthy relationship. So if anyone violates it they must be told firmly and courteously that this bad behavior won't be tolerated and that they must discontinue such bad behavior. This is exactly what I did, I informed the bully that this behavior is wrong and that such behavior would not be tolerated.

3) Speak to a Mentor:

I think in difficult times especially when being bullied it can get very difficult and intolerable. A good mentor will help you with concrete steps to deal with the issue and guide you appropriately. This mentor could be any friend, family member or trained professional.

Resources for further reading:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-couch/201702/6-smarter-ways-deal-bully

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/work/10-signs-that-youre-being-bullied-at-work/articleshow/47231041.cms

https://www.stompoutbullying.org/get-help/about-bullying-and-cyberbullying/are-you-being-bullied

https://lifehacker.com/how-to-handle-being-bullied-as-an-adult-1726099137

I believe life is beautiful and challenging, toxic people just take you off tangent. Get back on track and keep Learning and be better every day. Here is a beautiful quote to think about when you are confronted with such situations.

"If people try to bring you down, it means you are above them."*1

More power and peace to you...Have a great day !!!

*1 Source: https://quoteshunter.com/anti-bullying-quotes/
* Image by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay

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